Pain and Sadness
I don’t know why lately I often have nightmares. They seem so real and sometimes I wake up and I feel the pain and sometimes there are cuts on me.
I often wake up with tears in my eyes and fear in my heart. I feel weak as if I have been in the battleground.
When I wake up I hope to see a familiar face but then it’s me alone again. I come from a family of five. I have a brother, a sister, a mom a dad (pass away) and myself. Five of us. I use to have a dog but he’s in heaven now. (Dogs go to heaven and cats go to hell… to me)
My bro told me I am a disgrace to him and and my sis told me what a LOSER I am. My mom, I believe she loves me alot well only when she’s ok. When her mood is not good due to gambling losses well to most abusive words can find their way out of her mouth. She can go to church and pray all she wants but the words can write a new book on abusive language. Lately she kinda destroyed my fan by throwing it at me. Well I was reminded what a LOSER I am compared to my bro and sis. Yet they both do not want to be with her.
The only familiar face I have is my hunnie. I love her alot… In my worst nights I know she’ll always be there for me. My greatest fear is losing her… I can tell her everything she’ll just listen and comfort me. Great isn’t it. :)
